Never too late
by gsrfan1
Summary: AU: Set after the wedding but with no trucks in sight.What could have happened if TPTB actually listened to fans.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Never too late

Author: Gsrfan

A/U: Set after the wedding but with no trucks in sight.

Disclaimer: Unless someone bought me and early christmas present, I own nothing. Shame.

Summary: What could have happened if TPTB actually listened to fans.

Prologue

A/N: Edited slightly to make timeline make more sense. Thanks Ash for letting me know.

"Glad to see you spent your time off constructively," Morris said rubbing a hand over his eyes listlessly, one look at Ray's haggard expression and you can instantly tell what he'd been doing all weekend "You look like shit,"

"Apparently 2 days straight of tequila and misery does that to you." Ray sighed, recalling the sorry excuse for a weekend he'd had since his little outburst at the wedding. The rest of the week had been just as hellish, but he didn't care to recap it just then. He'd enjoyed many activities, such as pining over Neela, obsessing over her and Gates and getting wasted. "You seen Neela? Gotta to talk to her."

Morris fell silent at the mention of her name, as did the others that had joined them. Ray felt the dread creep over him as one by one his friends avoided his gaze.

"What?" he asked breathless, fearing the worst, that she'd run off with Gates and they couldn't bare to tell him.

"There was a riot." Abby whispered, hoping if she was quiet enough it wouldn't be true. At this Ray looked around the ER and for the first time noticed the sorry state it was in.

He looked up at them, still not understanding, assuming that Neela was just busy in surgery, it had to be that right?

"She um….. um….she got hurt…..pretty bad." Pratt finished for Abby sympathetically, knowing that as bad as they were feeling, it was nothing in comparison to what Ray would go through. They loved Neela, but he was _in_ love with her, there was no comparison, "she's in surgery, they're doing everything they can."

Ray stumbled backwards, his body and mind unable to synch up as the words registered in his mind. The worst that he had feared for, paling in comparison to the horror that now assaulted him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1 

"Breath!" Ray told himself as he sat on the bench in the ambulance bay, the place he had retreated to as soon as his body and everyone else had let him. He'd tried to get past them to surgery countless times but they were relentless. He had to wait…..same as them.

'**But I'm not the same as them, I need her,'** his breath caught in his throat again causing him to retch as he imagined a lifetime without her. **'No…… If there's no her, there's no me.'**

He knew his friends, not to mention his mother would kill him if they know he was having such selfish thoughts. This wasn't about him, it was about her, the woman he loved more than life itself, lying on a table ….being cut open….dying…….. He steadied himself against the wall to stop from keeling over at the thought.

**'Why didn't they call me, they had to know I'd _need _to know'**

"Hey," Abby said as she came to stand beside him, her heart reaching out to him as she saw his red tear stained eyes.

He looked up at her expectantly, hoping for news, good or bad, it was better than not knowing. She just shook her head…….. nothing yet.

"I can't lose her Abby….I just can't….she's my life." He said the tears he had been trying to hold back falling from his eyes as Abby reached her arms around him.

"She's a fighter, she'll be just fine." She whispered trying to soothe him.

"She's in recovery," a voice called, moving them apart.

Ray's eyes narrowed and fist clenched as he set eyes on Gate's, who did the same.

"Not now," Abby warned, feeling the mounting tension, "she needs you." She said without adding names, who Neela actually wanted, was still ambiguous to everyone, Neela included probably.

XXXX

"She's not awake yet," Dubenko told them,

"Can we see her?" Ray asked, making it clear that no was not an answer he would accept.

"Just you," Dubenko said, knowing that Neela would want that, her feelings for her former roommate much clearer to others than she thought they were. "Don't stay too long."

The others sat down in the waiting room, Gates' not trying to suppress his anger towards Ray, the glare on his face evident to everyone.

XXXX

"Hey roomie," Ray said into the silence, a bittersweet smile on his face that did nothing to hide the fear and sorrow in his eyes. "If you wanted time off I could have found you a better way than this you know." He quipped, imaging the smile she would have given if she could.

He sat in the chair that was next to her, fighting back tears for the hundredth time that day.

"So this is the part of the movie where I sit here and tell you how much you mean to me right?" he said stroking her hair, "well you know me, I'm more into horror than those chick flicks you like, so don't be surprised if I mess some of this up."

He rubbed his eyes, not surprised to find moisture there; a now frequent addition to his usual appearance. Biting his lip he thought over his next words, he always seemed to struggle when she was concerned.

He heard a light cough from the doorway, turning he saw a nurse who was trying to tell him to leave as tactfully and sensitively as she could.

"Well getting interrupted never happened in the movie," he continued joking, the slight humour the only thing keeping the pain from consuming him. "We'll continue this when you're awake then," he said standing, "one-sided conversations are boring anyway."

He bent down, his eyes level with hers; closing his he pictured her chocolate orbs looking back at his own green ones. He pressed his lips gently against her forehead, the room starting to spin as he got lost in her.

"Later roomie," he whispered back into the room as he rejoined the others.

"Her vitals look good," he said slipping back into doctor mode, "she….. um …" he began to add more about her condition,

"Its ok man," Pratt said grasping his shoulder, "you don't have to say anything. We get it."

Ray smiled his thanks at him, and looked at the others in turn, until he met the eyes of Gates, a silent war being waged between the two of them as they locked their gaze. The triangle was about to be broken apart for good, but which side was to be lost was anybody's guess.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N Sorry for the delay in posting this, my internet connection was conspiring against me, every time I even thought of posting it cut itself off.. should I take a hint lol.

Chapter 2

"Ok, you win," Gates started as soon as they stepped outside, "It's pretty obvious who everyone's favourite is here. You want her, she's yours. I give up"

Ray stood there in disbelief, **'she's yours? You're supposed to love her, you keep her no matter what, you fight for her and you most definitely don't give up.**

"You just don't get it do you," Ray said his voice higher than he'd planned, "this isn't a game. Neela isn't a prize_, no-one_ wins!"

"That's not what I meant," Gates said in his sarcastic tone, "but what's the point in trying when you never get anywhere? I'm not like you; I can't just keep hanging on when the situation is clearly over. I mean come on man, she doesn't want you, didn't she make that clear enough when she married another guy……. when she slept with me?"

"She doesn't have to want me," Ray said bitterly, seething at the thought of Gates touching her,

"What, so you're just gonna follow her around like a lost puppy for the rest of your life?"

"No I'm gonna be there for her, as a friend, as whatever she needs," Ray stated simply,

"You love her that much?" Gates asked in disbelief, "You're an ass, you know that?"

"Speaking of asses, at least I want her for more than hers, which is more than I can say for some people."

"You self-righteous…." Gates started but was cut off as Ray's fist connected with his jaw, he had heard enough and couldn't find any other way to release his anger and confusion. This whole situation was seriously messing with his head.

"No more!" Ray said as he walked away, "This is over. I am done with you; all that matters to me now is her."

"You're not so different to me after all," Gates smirked as he cradled his jaw, "resorting to violence?"

"You and I are nothing alike," Ray glared back at him from the doorway, "you wanna know the main difference?"

Gate's looked back at him, so Ray continued taking the silence as a yes.

"I want her because I love her…..you want her so _I_ can't have her."

Gates opened his mouth to protest,

"Oh, I know." Ray said, speaking for him "I'm making this about me. I'm sure in the _beginning_ you did want her for a real reason, but can you deny that keeping her from me isn't one of the main reasons you kept this up for so long."

Gates looked at the ground as Ray accepted his silent defeat,

"She deserves someone who will fight for her, love _her_, want _her_ and not care about all the other petty crap in this world. _Neither_ of us deserve her," Ray added, "but I can't give up until I hear _her_ tell me that."

With the last words spoken Ray emerged the victor but this war wasn't over, would Neela ultimately cast him down. Only she could answer that, and all he could do was wait. And wait he did.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

"Will you guys be quiet?" Abby hissed, "Dubenko'll kill us if he finds out we snuck in her."

"Sorry," Morris whispered as he picked up the contents of the tray he had just knocked over.

With Ray and Gates gone, and no doubt killing each other, the remaining three had taken their opportunity to sneak in and see their friend.

"Hey Neela," Abby smiled at the sleeping form as Morris and Pratt just looked on and stayed quiet, neither of them knowing what to say.

"This is harder than it looks huh?" Pratt said, they had watched many family members do this over the years, but being there themselves was an entirely different situation.

"Sure is," Morris said, "I think we should probably get going,"

"Yeah," Pratt and Abby agreed as they took one last look and silently said goodbye.

"Leaving so soon," Neela whispered hoarsely as she saw them at the door,

"You're awake!" Abby beamed as they swiftly made their way back to her,

"Looks like it," she smiled weakly, her eyes locking on Abby.

"Where is he?" she asked softly,

"He?" she asked confused, which 'he' was she referring to this time?

"Ray," Neela said, the word hurting her more than her injuries, "You're wearing his jacket," she explained, as her eyes swept over the article of clothing that she had bought for his last birthday "he can't be far, its his favourite, he doesn't go anywhere without it."

"He _was_ just here," Abby said, not wanting Neela to think that he hadn't come to see her,

"I think he went for some air or something," Morris covered, knowing Neela would be upset if she knew what he was really doing.

"Right," Neela said, knowing something was up,

"We should go get him," Pratt said knowing how much he would want to see her,

"We'll come by again later," Abby smiled as they headed to the door. "Bye."

XXXX

Ray braced himself against the door so he could catch his breath; he had never run up the stairs so fast in his life. As soon as Pratt had said the word 'awake', his exchange with Gates was put to the back of his mind and he was out of sight before anyone could register it.

He took one last deep breath and opened the door, with no idea what he was going to do or say. The last time he had seen her awake he'd been making a public embarrassment out of himself.

'**But it was over **_**her'**_ his mind reminded him

'**That's not the point, you almost ruined Abby's wedding,"** her voice joined his,

He sighed remembering that he still needed to apologise to Abby for that, someone must have let it slip by now; nothing stayed a secret in this place.

"I know that guilty sigh," Neela said causing Ray to snap out of his thoughts, he hadn't even realised how close to her bed he had gotten.

"Neela," he said finally breathing, his smile a mile wide.

"Where the hell have you been?" she said her voice stern,

"I was outside…..I……" he started, taken about by her change in mood,

"I mean _all week_ Ray!" she said as forcefully as she could, "Do you have any idea how many times I called you, how worried I was? Anything could have happened to you!"

Ray silently fumed as she continued her tirade, he'd been in agony worrying about her and here she was yelling at him.

"**So I avoided her…She broke my heart; I think I had that right didn't I?'**

As soon as he finished that bitter thought, the words were out before he could stop himself.

"Like you care!"

Neela's words were frozen in her throat as the words literally slapped her in the face.

"What?" she managed to breathe out,

"You heard me," he said, "the only person who were worried about that night was your precious Gates. You never wanted me, you just wanted to screw with my head, you both deserve each other"

'**Shut up!**' his mind yelled at him, **'you said you weren't gonna screw this up again'**

Neela's heart shattered into a million pieces as she processed his words and the anger in his tone. She tried to steady herself and respond rationally but her hurt took over,

"Is that really what you think of me?" she asked painfully, "That I would do something like to you, after everything we've been through?"

The question bounced around Ray's head, shaming him, he knew he was wrong, but it was too late to take back what he had just said, the damage was done.

He opened his mouth to speak but he knew no words could mend the bridges he had just destroyed. "I never thought I'd say this," Neela whispered, the words too painful to say at full volume, "but I'm glad you didn't pick up that night."

Ray's mind was cast back to the night of the wedding, to him sitting alone at a bar, drunk and miserable, his phone ringing every half hour. He just stared at the caller ID, taking a shot every time he saw her name, hoping that next time he'd be too drunk to read it. It couldn't hurt him then.

He stood by the door of her room waiting for her to explain further,

"You don't deserve to know what I would have said to you."

Turning the handle of her room he broke the last piece of his heart as he walked away from her.

'**This isn't the way it was meant to be…..not for us.'**

He walked down the hall, ignoring the questioning looks his friends gave him. When he got to the ER he took one last look around and smiled sadly as he realised that the fears he had formed there earlier that night had been realised. The worst _had_ come true, he'd lost her, not to death as he'd dreaded, or Gates, but to his own stupidity…..somehow that was worse.


	5. Chapter 5

A/n: Got some interesting feedback for the last chapter, some of you think Ray should apologise, but some want Neela too. Hope the fic gives all of you what you wanted. Here is another chapter for you lovely ladies

Chapter 4

"Neela's being released today," Abby said to Ray, stepping in front of him so he couldn't escape the conversation.

"That's nice." He said, her name burning a hole threw his heart. The argument still fresh in his mind.

"So today would be a good time to go and see her." Abby hinted.

"Why? So we can yell some more?" he asked, "Look, what we had is broken beyond repair, accept it. I have."

'**Liar'** his heart shouted at him.

"And whose fault is it that things got so broken?" Abby asked, "You pick a fight with Gates, disappear for a week and then yell at her when you finally show your face again.

"There's more to it than that," he said, "and I'm sorry about the wedding," he added,

"It's ok." Abby said, "Don't let her go, you were both upset and exhausted that day. Things were said, harsh things I'm sure, but if you really love her, you can work them out."

"Not when she doesn't love _me_ Abby, I'll be around if she wants me, if she needs me, but I really don't see that happening anytime soon. She has you guys for that…she has _him_." He said tensing up.

"He's only around her because you won't be. They're nothing more than friends Ray, she's made that clear."

"I have to go." He said brushing her off, the conversation hurting him more and more as it continued.

XXXX

"Hey Neela, your cab's outside," Frank told her as Abby wheeled her towards the doors of the ER.

"Thanks Frank," she answered her body tensing, as she saw Ray.

"You want to talk to him?" Abby asked,

"I don't know," Neela answered. "I get so confused whenever I see him."

"Looks like he decided for you," Abby smiled as Ray made his way over to them.

"Hey Neela," he said avoiding her gaze; he knew the look in her eyes would torture him, "I'm glad you're better."

"Thanks," she said weighing up her options and deciding against making a run for it, Abby would kill her and she'd never make it in her condition anyway.

"So Ray," Abby said as she started wheeling Neela towards her cab, "I was talking to Dubenko about Neela,….."

"Who _is_ actually here you know?" Neela said sarcastically from her chair, looking up and accidentally catching Ray's gaze…..holding it unintentionally, getting lost in his eyes, their fight a distant memory.

"Anyway, he doesn't want Neela staying on her own…."

"Abby!" Neela warned, knowing where this was going.

"I'd invite her to stay at mine and Luka's but she doesn't know the apartment very well…."

'**You are so lame'** Abby told herself at her feeble excuse to get Neela back at Ray's.

"Abby!!!" Neela stressed again shaking her head at her meddlesome friend, who just smirked back at her.

"I was thinking, she knows your apartment so wouldn't it be good for her to stay with you for a while?"

Ray looked between the two in bewilderment, amazed at how effortlessly Abby could back him into a corner. He couldn't say yes because…well just because it was an insane idea but he couldn't say no because……. Because……

'**Because she's Neela, you can never say no to her.'**

"Sure…… I guess" he stuttered, "If you want to," he added looking down at her, hoping she'd say yes, but scared to death of what that would mean.

"Ok," she said unable to stop herself, she had missed living with him so much. She knew this would just stir up old memories and things better left forgotten, but when she looked at him and saw they way he was looking back at her, she just couldn't bring her self to say no.

"Excellent!" Abby smiled as she helped Neela into her cab.

"How do you do that?" Ray asked in shock as the cab pulled out of the ambulance bay,

"What?" Abby smirked,

"Turn my life upside down so all the things I thought were impossible happen all at once."

"I'd love to take credit for that," she smiled, "but I think the turning was all Neela's doing. Things aren't as over as both of you seem to think they are."

Ray just stood there in disbelief as Abby walked back into the ER.

'**Don't blow this!'** he told himself, **'This really could be your last chance.'**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5

Neela sat nervously on the sofa as Ray went about making coffee in the kitchen, his hands trembling, he'd never been so nervous in his life.

'**Chill out, it's just Neela,'** he told himself, **'she's seen you half naked for god's sake, making her coffee should be a breeze.'**

"Black, one sugar, same as always right?" he said handing her the mug, staring at the empty seat next to her and deciding against it. Some things weren't the same as always.

"Yeah," she smiled, disappointed that he sat so far away from her.

'**He really must hate me.'**

'**Can you blame him' **her mind questioned,** 'you treated him so badly, he waited for you and you just left him there.'**

"So, I'll uh….just um….stay in m…..the spare room," she corrected herself, "if that's ok with you, cos I can go back to Abby's old place, She never has to know."

Ray was struck by the fact that she didn't call her place home, more so by the fact that she seemed to want to get out of there as soon as possible.

"It's up to you," he said twisting the cuff of his shirt in his hands, "I have the room if you want it, it's your choice."

Neela bit her lip at the irony of his words, _'your choice'_, it had always been her choice but as per usual she had made the wrong one.

"I guess I'll stay then," she said her decision having being made as soon as Abby suggested it, she knew it would be beyond awkward to stay but she couldn't help wanting to.

"Cool." Ray said trying to act casual, wincing as he went too far and made it seem like he didn't care.

"I'm gonna go get some sleep, I'll see you later," she asked more than said; the fear of waking up to find this was a dream upon her.

"Sure," he said as his eyes followed her into her room,

'**Sure?'** his mind mocked him, **'after everything that's happened, all you can say is sure? Get a grip man.'**

XXXX

Neela stirred as the knocking she'd been trying to ignore became louder.

'**If I ignore it long enough it'll go away, or Ray will answer the door,…..I hope.'**

"Dr. Dubenko?" Ray questioned as he opened the door in just a pair of sweat pants. "You here to see Neela I take it."

"Yes," Lucien almost stammered as he took in his competition, he was clearly no match for him physically and from the way Neela had talked about her former roommate in the past, he didn't hold much ground in the emotional stakes either.

"Come on in then," Ray said as he walked towards Neela's room, smiling at the familiarity of it. She'd only been here a few days but it felt like she had never left, but things were far from back to how they were.

"Neela," Dubenko heard Ray whisper gently from the living room, not that he was trying to listen or anything, "Neela, wake up. You have a visitor."

Reluctantly she opened her eyes and had to fight to steady her breathing as Ray's looks back at hers.

"Hey," he smiled, "Dubenko's here to see you."

"Right," she said rubbing her eyes as she carefully sat up, "Yoga,"

"Well you have fun with that," Ray teased as he left her to change, surprised how easily their banter came back to them after their fight. He knew he shouldn't but he wished she would stay forever, because he knew as soon as she left, they were going to drift apart again. He couldn't let that happen, this time he really couldn't lose her and instead of just hoping it didn't happen he was going to have to do something about it.

"She'll be right out" he said rubbing his collar bone, "Coffee?"

"No thank you," Dubenko refused politely,

"Cool, I'll be in my room,"

"Lucien, Hi." Neela said as brightly as she could manage first thing in the morning,

Ray tried to hide the jealous look he gave them as he went into his room, her and Dubenko were just colleagues, friends, nothing more.

'**Yeah, but wasn't how we started out too? Now look at the mess we're in'**

XXXX

Ray looked at the guitar lying at the end of his bed, he was dying to pick it up and crank up the volume, give them a not so subtle hint that it was time for their 'play date' to end. They'd been at it for what seemed like hours, but every time he caught a glimpse of her, looking so peaceful and at ease he didn't have the heart.

So instead he just sighed and sulked, something he was getting good at lately.

"And that's us done," Dubenko said, almost whispered,

"Thanks for coming, I think it really helped," Neela smiled,

"I'm glad," he smiled, "Look, Neela I…."

"Not now," Neela cut him off knowing where this was going, "It's not the time," she said motioning towards Ray's ajar door, knowing that with the paper thin walls they had he could no doubt hear every word.

"No, Neela I'm sorry, I need to get this out" he continued, sparking Ray's interest. He stood and his behind his door,

"About the kiss," Dubenko started,

Neela squeezed her eyes shut, that was the worst possible way he could have phrased it,

"Unbelievable," Ray said stepping out of his room, he had tried not to overreact, he didn't know the situation, but his bitterness towards Gates hadn't entirely dissipated, hearing those words just made him aim it in a different direction.

"Dr. Barnett," Dubenko said immediately, stepping between Neela and Ray, "It's not how it sounds."

His words went unnoticed as Ray directed his words at Neela and Neela alone.

"What? One rebound guy wasn't enough; you had to have your boss as well?" Ray seethed, "Were you just gonna pass yourself around the hospital or something?"

Neela narrowed her eyes and glared at Ray, his words cutting through her. She knew he didn't mean it, that he knew it wasn't like that, that loosing Michael was so hard on her. She had to believe he wasn't that spiteful….but maybe he'd changed, she knew _she_ had.

"No, Ray please, it's not like that," she started, hating herself for how pitiful her voice sounded,

"You know what Neela I really don't care anymore. Sleep with the entire hospital for all I care, it's not like I have any claim to you and you certainly don't have one on me. You've made your feelings… or lack of them perfectly clear."

Ray hated himself for what he was saying, he knew how callous he sounded, how hurtful he was being but the pain inside of him had to escape somehow, and throwing it back at her was the only way he knew how.

"I'm going to work," he said not looking at either of them as he left, the door slamming slightly behind him.

"Neela I'm so sorry," Dubenko said as he saw the tears falling from her eyes,

"Just leave, please," she almost begged,

"I'll talk to him," he said as he headed to the door.

"It won't work," she said wiping her eyes, "it's over…for real this time. How can that happen when it never even started in the first place?


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6

"Dr. Barnett I'd like to speak with you please." Dubenko said as he followed him up the hall.

"Really," Ray said uncooperatively, "I'd like to pretend I never heard you say you kissed Neela. Looks like we both loose."

"He did what?" Gates said as he appeared around the corner.

"Oh boy," Abby said having caught the tail end of the conversation. She motioned to Pratt and Morris, this could get ugly, she was gonna need some help.

"Dr. Gates this doesn't concern you," Dubenko told him,

"Like hell it doesn't" he answered in his usual; defensive mode, "we _are_ talking about Neela here aren't we?"

"And she has nothing to do with you anymore Gates, remember? So just back off!" Ray said squaring up to him, his eyes cold.

"What, you think just because she's staying at your apartment again you have some kind of claim over her!" Gates snapped.

"Oh Jesus," Pratt said tipping his head towards the stairs where Moretti was watching, "this is gonna be bad."

"Guys, just chill out ok." Morris laughed nervously as all three men ignored him.

"Really this isn't going to solve anything" Dubenko started trying to placate the two men,

"Don't even get me started on you," Gates said pushing Dubenko back, "what the hell were you kissing my girlfriend for anyway?"

Ray snapped when he heard the 'G' word and shoved Gates backwards into the wall, which Dubenko was immensely grateful for, but things were turning bad fast. Ray kicked himself for getting into this again, he swore he wouldn't let Gates do this to him anymore, but emotions were running high and he just couldn't shut them off.

"Guy's just knock it off would you?" Abby shouted.

"She is _not_ your girlfriend," Ray hissed as he held Gates up against the wall.

"Resorting to violence again are we now Ray?" Gates mocked causing Ray to take a step back and check himself, the last thing he wanted was to be like him.

"You're right, she's not my girlfriend but she was a hell of a lot more to me than she was ever was to you."

Ray just glared trying to get his temper under control, his biting comeback frozen on his lips.

"Would someone care to explain just exactly what the hell is going on here?" Moretti said finally making his presence known to everyone.

Gates and Ray broke further apart, Dubenko stood on the sidelines, all three of them silent, like school boys outside the principal's office.

"I'm waiting," Moretti said holding his ground.

Pratt sighed, shook his head and started to talk, someone had to resolve this.

"As far as we can tell something happened with Dubenko and Neela, these two here don't like that too much."

Ray looked at Pratt like he was a traitor, spilling his deepest secrets to the whole room. Pratt just looked back as if to say 'it's not like half the place didn't know all about this anyway.'

"I get why that would piss off old Gates here but what's Ray got to do with it?" Moretti asked, thinking he knew what the answer was, but wanting an explanation none the less.

'**Don't'** Ray thought, sending mental images across to Pratt.

"He loves her." Abby spoke up, "Well you do don't you?" she said as Ray shook head at her.

"Well she certainly does get around a lot doesn't she?" Moretti joked not realising the idiocy of his words.

Both Ray and Gates snapped, but luckily for Ray, Gates and his temper got there first. His fist connected with Moretti's jaw and the room fell silent.

"That's it Gates," Moretti yelled cradling his jaw, "you're out of here for good this time. And _you_," he said addressing Ray, "go home and don't come back until you've had time to cool off. Just a hint, _I'll_ be deciding how long that time is."

"I don't want to hear it Gates," Moretti fumed as he started to protest, "you're reckless, you're dangerous and have no respect for anyone else. You're gone. Get out of my ER….now"

Ray couldn't help the smile that spread across his face as he heard the words, "Barnett, you better get going right now too before I change my mind about your 'sentence'."

Ray took one last glare at Dubenko as he left the ER. A wave of mixed emotions in his head, getting Gates fired was _great_, getting suspended was bad, but what Neela was gonna do to him when she found out what he'd done didn't bare thinking about.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7

Ray felt the icy chill coming from the apartment even before he even opened the door, bracing himself he turned the handle and prepared himself for the verbal beat down he was gonna get as soon as Neela knew he was back.

"So," she said icily before the door was even closed behind him, "Moretti called." She finished, leaving the implications clear.

Ray dropped his shoulders in defeat and sighed as he walked further into the apartment, what was the point in starting a fight he knew he couldn't win.

"Have you completely lost your mind?" she asked him angrily, "I thought you would have learnt your lesson at Abby's wedding! But to start a fight at _work_…..you're insane."

Ray silently fumed on the inside, she just didn't get it, he wasn't insane, he was in love. All of this was for her, why couldn't she see that.

Seeing that her current tack wasn't getting her anywhere, she tried a softer approach. Which was hard considering the harsh words from that morning were still fresh in her mind.

**'I can't believe he could think that about me'**

"About Dubenko…god I don't know why I'm explaining this to you after the way you spoke to me this morning…..would you please look at me?" she asked as Ray looked out of the window, seemingly oblivious to her. "_He_ kissed _me_, I didn't kiss him back, he was drunk, it was nothing."

A weight was lifted off Ray's heart as he heard those words, although he was hearing what deep down he already knew. An even bigger weight was tossed back on him when he remembered his accusations from that morning.

'**Why couldn't you just keep your mouth shut? You knew you were wrong!'**

"Aren't you gonna say _anything_?" she asked as Ray remained silent,

'**Keep your mouth shut Ray,**' he told himself,** 'opening it only hurts her, clear you head, **_**then**_** talk.'**

"I'm going out," he said barely able to meet her gaze as he walked to the door, knowing how heart breaking it would be.

Neela felt the tears roll down her face as the door closed behind him and an argument for the second time that day.

'How did it come to this?'

XXXX

"Hey man," the bartender said as Ray took a seat, "haven't seen you in a while. How've you been?"

"You don't want to know," Ray sighed rubbing his eyes,

"That bad huh?"

"Worse. Give me a shot of anything that's not tequila," Ray said,

"Bad experience with it?" the bartender asked,

"No," Ray smiled bitterly, "a great one, it just hurts too much to remember it."

"Ah….It's one of _those_ nights," the bartender said, realisation dawning on him, "just take it slow ok, I've got a bad back and I can't be picking you up off the floor again. Speaking of which, you left your cell here last time, had to turn it off in the end, it was ringing non-stop for a week. Someone sure is popular"

_Do you have any idea how many times I called you, how worried I was?_

Ray squeezed his eyes shut as her words floated through his head, making it all that more painful as her image joined the words. The shattered look on her face as he accused her of not caring.

"Thanks," he said, almost choking on the emotion that was overpowering him.

Looking at the display he saw that he had some messages, figuring it would be best to listen to them while sober he called his message service.

_Welcome to answer phone… you have 5 new messages, press 1 to listen to new messages, press 2 to listen to saved messages, press 3 to……_

'**Blah blah blah'** he thought

_First new message_

_Hey man, It's Greg, just wanted to see if you got home ok. Call me._

_Second new message_

_Ray, It's Morris. Hope you're ok, check in when you can. Later_

He smiled slightly; it was nice to know that they cared enough to call.

_Third new message_

_Ray……_

He froze as he heard her voice, which of her many missed calls had this been?

_I'm just calling to see if you're all right and that you got home ok. I'm really sorry about tonight; this wasn't how it was supposed to happen. I….I uh wanted to talk to you, I have some things to say….call me ok? See you soon._

He pressed the button to save the message, and moved on to the next ones, not that they would hold much significance to him after that one.

_Fourth new message_

_Hi, Mr. Barnett., I'm calling on behalf of….._

He shut the message of before the voice at the end of the phone could tell him whatever telemarketing agency it was calling from.

Last message he thought, nerves getting the best of him as he put the phone back to his ear,

_Hi Ray, me again.,_

He let out a breath as he heard her voice, gripping the phone more tightly in anticipation.

_This is the fifth time I've called you today, so I'm guessing you either don't want to talk to me or you left your phone in a bar again, I hope it's the second one._

_Um…… God I hate answer phones……anyway…I just wanted to see how you were, we haven't heard from you in a while and we're…I'm worried about you. Please call me._

He bit his lip as he heard the worry in her voice, knowing he was to blame for that. There was a long silence as though she couldn't decide whether to hang up or not

_What the hell_, she said more to herself than the message, if either of the options she had mentioned were true it wasn't like he was ever gonna listen to the message anyway.

_I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about what happened at the wedding, not that I'm actually sure what happened. One minute we were fine, talking like old times, the next you were trying to rip Tony's head off. I can only assume that you saw us talking…first of all you have to know it was nothing like what it looked like, I was telling him it was over…I hope you can guess why. If Hope hadn't of interrupted I probably would have shown you why… Ray…… God this is why I wanted to talk to you that night._

He held his breath as she paused, remembering her words at the hospital, _'you don't deserve to know what I would have told you', _now he was gonna find out,

_Ray, …… I know it's really bad to do this over the phone but I have to get it out………… I love you; I have for a long time. God, I wish you were here so I could judge your reaction but you're not, so I'll have to wait, which considering how long you waited for me is only fair._

_Anyway, after that revelation I don't really know what else to say. I'm going to a rally now, so I'll see you soon I hope, please talk to me when I do, we both have so much to say._

_Bye._

With that the message ended and he was left with silence, his head spun as he registered the three words he thought he would never hear her say.

'**This was the day of the rally?'** his mind processed.

**The day you yelled at her and accused her of caring about Gates more than you. **His mind filled him in. **'no wonder she is so mad at you right now. She was right; you didn't deserve to know any of that.**

"Hey Charlie!" Ray called across the bar, "get me the cheque would you, I gotta get out of here."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 8

"Dubenko, Gates, _Ray_!!!," Neela muttered to herself as she threw clothes in the direction of her case, "stupid bloody men!"

Ray smiled a little as her heard her intelligible ranting from the hallway, that was the Neela he knew, the neighbours must be pissed by now though.

"Neela?" he called out as he saw the living room was empty, heading towards her room he steadied himself.

"What are you doing?" he said breathlessly as her saw her case,

'This can't be happening again' 

"Come on Ray, you've seen me do this before, you can figure it out,"

"Neela…..Neela I." he stammered,

"Saying my name over and over again isn't gonna solve anything you know?" she said picking up her case, "Please move," she said as he blocked the doorway.

"No," he said boldly, "I let you walk out of her once and I'm not gonna do it again."

"Yes you are Ray," she said, her icy exterior melting slightly as she felt the pain in his words.

"No Neela, I'm not," he said taking the case out of her hand and putting it on the floor. "I heard your message, we have to talk,"

"Message?" she asked, but closing her eyes in realisation when he showed her his old cell phone.

"You were right. I did leave it in a bar," he joked trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah well, I left that message a long time ago," she said sitting down on the bed, her mind reeling as she tried to gage his feelings. Was he mad about the message, was he glad that she loved him, had he given up on them.

"It was last week," he smiled, "I know things change, but that fast?" he asked,

"You tell me." She said her eyes locking on his as he came to kneel before her. "At the wedding you wanted me, a couple weeks before that you really wanted me," she smiled as she remembered the kiss, "but now, you can barely stay in the same room as me, I don't understand this."

"And you think I _do_?" he asked taking her hands in his, "I've been going crazy here on my own. I wanted to give you space, time, looks like I gave you too much huh? You found someone else, or maybe you never wanted me in the first place, you did move out after all."

"You can't honestly believe that," she said gripping his hand a little tighter as he moved closer to her, "I left because…"

"I know," he told her, taking her into his arms as her tears started to fall, " I remember what you said at the wedding, I know it was hard for you even before……" he stopped not able to mention Michael's death.

"I'm sorry I pushed you away," she cried her tears falling into his shirt, "it was just so hard, the only thing I wanted to do was run to you and cry. But I couldn't, being with you reminded me of him, and how when I was with him, I wanted to be with you. You have no idea the guilt that I had to deal with."

Ray held her tightly in her arms, his own tears now joining hers on his shirt,

"And Gates?" he asked reluctantly,

"He was safe," Neela said resting her forehead against Ray's, "he wasn't Michael and he wasn't you. When I was with him I could forget, but then I realised that I didn't need to forget, I needed to move on. Face the past. But it's too late for that now isn't it?" she asked, "I hurt you too much; I don't blame you if you can't forgive me."

Ray looked at her in amazement, his thoughts too jumbled to form words, he caressed her hair and pulled her to him again, causing Neela to cry more, she thought it truly was over.

"It's never too late," he whispered as he pulled back, wiping away her tears he leaned in close enough to feel her breath on his face. His lips slid slowly over hers, he could taste her tears as he ran his tongue against hers. "Never," he said again as held her in his arms once more, this time he wasn't going to let go.

A/N: One more chapter to go.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Sorry for the delay with this chapter, have been away from home. Hope its the ending you all wanted. Enjoy.

Epilogue

"So," Abby asked, "How are things?"

"Good thanks," Neela smiled, "the yoga that Dubenko showed me is really helping me."

"_So_ not what I meant," Abby smiled at Neela's evasive answer, she'd been coy every time anyone asked about her and Ray for weeks. "I came by my old place to see you the other day and you weren't home, I call and you don't answer. I'm starting to think you've deserted the place…..which by the way, I wouldn't mind …if you're happy."

"I'm happy," Neela beamed as she caught a glimpse of Ray walking into the hospital, "more than I have been in a long time."

"And by the looks of him," Neela said glancing at Ray's dishevelled just got out of bed look, complete with 'I got lucky' glazed over eyes, "someone made him _very_ happy….more than once last night."

"Way to lower the tone Abby," Neela said blushing slightly, although she had to admit, make up sex rocked, and Ray had certainly rocked her world a time or too in the past few weeks. Even though she hadn't properly healed it had been amazing, maybe even more amazing that it would be when she was healed, the way he was so gentle with her, so caring, turned her on more than words could say. That didn't mean she couldn't wait until she was fully recovered though, she thought grinning.

"Hi Abby, roomie" Ray smiled as he approached them, sneaking a cheeky wink at Neela. Abby just smiled as she left the two alone.

"I think we've been busted," she told him looking in Abby's direction.

"About time too," he smiled, "she's usually _way_ quicker than that."

"Yeah," Neela agreed, "but you're ok with that?" she asked, "people knowing."

"I'd shout it from the roof tops if I didn't have to listen to you giving me the third degree about how dangerous being on a roof top is." He grinned,

"Can you blame me with some of the stupid stuff you do sometimes?" she teased.

Thinking back on some of the insane stunts he'd pulled in the past, he realised there was no way he was gonna win the argument, not without some creative thinking anyway.

"Shut up and kiss me," he said, almost dared, smiling as Neela's breath was literally taken away.

Not expecting her reaction his head started spinning as her lips met his, her tongue rubbing against them but pulling back cheekily as he went to deepen the kiss.

"You shouldn't say thinks like that if you can't deal with the consequences you know?" she said teasingly.

"Oh I can _more_ than deal with them," he said daringly, thoughts of what he wanted to do right then and there in the ER, racing through his mind "_and_ _you_," he whispered as he put his lips to her ear, "I get home at 10…. if that's not too late." He added his eyes meeting hers.

She smiled as she laced her fingers into his, thinking she really should leave and do some work before they started a full make out session in the ER. But not before giving him what he wanted, she smiled.

"Oh don't worry," she whispered so only he could hear, her voice husky, "It's never too late.

Fin


End file.
